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John Conley Highlight
Letters to My Friends: A No Guarantees Guide to Awakening"
Plus Enlightening Dialogues with Baba Rahm Jahn
The letters in this book are about my journey into stillness. As a young man, I hurt everyone I ever loved. I loved deeply, but my love was always mingled with a desperate need to be accepted. But now, as I enter more and more into what I call stillness, I feel a peace that is difficult to explain. It flows through me like a river through a town where the citizens are my thoughts and feelings. Regardless of what these citizens do or say, the river flows.
I do not claim to be enlightened. I get frightened. I want to be loved. But I am learning more and more to listen to the stillness within me. And as I do, I find myself able to love deeply without hurting those I love. There, in that wide flow of stillness, I find great joy. Writing these letters was for me a journey into stillness. It is my sincere hope that reading these letters will be a journey into stillness for you.
Available at New Renaissance Bookshop, Portland, Oregon, Breitenbush Office, Breitenbush, Oregon, Unity World Healing Center, Lake Oswego, Oregon, Twenty-third Avenue Books, Portland, Oregon, Grass Roots Books and Music, Corvallis, Oregon, Annie Bloom's Books, Portland, Oregon, Soundpeace, Ashland, Oregon or Amazon.com
~ John Conley, "Letters to My Friends," www.mondaynightmeditation.com
"Letters to My Friends" by John Conley
John C. Conley is author of "Letters to My Friends: A No Guarantees Guide to Awakening"
Plus enlightenment dialogues with Baba Rahn Jahn. John offers Monday Night Meditation in Lake Oswego, Oregon that offers silent sitting, chanting, singing and dancing meditation. Click for John's website: Monday Night Meditation
July 15, 2007
Dear Friends,
My path now is one of allowing my heart to be opened again and again in love. And each time it opens, I learn about letting go. I let go of friends. I let go of dreams. I let go of the moment. It always feels as though I am letting go of love itself, and not just for the moment, but forever. And when I let go, it hurts because I want the moment to last forever.
What do I mean by opening my heart in love? It is the feeling of joy when I recognize a kindred soul. It is that childlike delight I feel when I meet a new friend. "Mommy, this is my new friend!
Can we keep her?" It is energy, nothing more. It is we who label it sexual. It is we who bring our beliefs to it and tarnish it both with hope and fear.
But there is danger in this path. We will gaze at the warm smile of Shakti and we will find a vast longing to unite with that which is beyond us and in us. We will look into the gentle eyes of Shiva and we will feel an aching loneliness to sink deeper. We will think that only in these lips lives Shakti, and only in these eyes will we find Shiva. But here is my truth. We do not possess Shakti. We do own Shiva. And to the extent we grasp onto the form of Shakti and Shiva take, to that extent do we choke the flow of the very thing we seek, the flow of life.
I fall in love with all my heart. I fall in love with dogs, women, men, children, and the occasional cat. I fall in love with fence posts, stop signs, and tree stumps. Occasionally, in moments of great insight, I even fall in love with myself. I fall in love and I let go; and when I let go, it hurts. It will probably always hurt, for I am but a man and not strong, but the hurt grows less and the love grows more, moment by little moment, slowly.
Time is short. I do not fool myself. Every dance is my last dance. Every kiss is my last kiss. Every goodbye is my last goodbye. Every breath is sweet. Every friend is dear. I feel as though this world is dimming; and as it dims, I see another world. It is wild and beautiful and frightening. Nothing I thought was true is true there. I go there by falling in love.
No one in their right mind would ever touch this love. For those in their right minds, there are other, less harsh paths. Of course, these parth take forever and are boring. But I will make you a promise. Slowly as you wrestle with the God of love by opening your heart you will catch glimpses of bliss. As you gasp for breath while pinned to the ground, you will see glory. "Pinned," you ask, "what do you mean by pinned?" Did I fail to mention that in wrestling with love you will exchange punches, headlocks, and body slams with the divine?
Did I fail to mention that this something I am calling God does not fight fair? You will get beaten sooner or later. It's inevitable. So, as you are pummeled to a pulp, enjoy yourself. Punch God hard and often. Give her a good fight. Try to smack her silly. It makes for an interesting life. She has all the time in the world. Of course, you could just say, "I give up, Shakti!" and find joy now. But how much fun would that be? Besides, I think God has a thing for idiots. After all, she loves me.
Blessings,
John C. Conley
